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  • Noémie Bourdin-Habert

Where adrenaline meets peace (en)

Surface. Last breath. And the sound of bubbles as I dive down.

No more breathing. Just myself, in silence. Five Meters.

I imagine scenes. Or musics. I focus on something else but my need to breath, the nasty effect of CO2 in my body. Ten meters.

I can hear the silence of my breathhold and I can feel my contractions, as my body sinking deep into the water. I am almost weightless. Fifteen meters.

I illusion manta rays, I hear Nick Cave, and I'm almost just another fish in the ocean. Only, I am always afraid and going back up after a while. Twenty meters.

Oh, is that the depth marker ? It must be. I should go down a little more then. But I feel tired, just tired. And impatient to breath again, too. Hold on and kick your fins down a little more. Boom! Twenty five meters.

Jeez, I will not make to thirty meters this time. I don't feel like it. I am tired. And my breathhold wasn't that deep. And it's cold. Plus the visibility is not as good as before...

I suddenly turn back up and as I do so, I realize, I was not feeling that bad after all. Twenty Eight Meters and a Half. Score.

I surface and I breath again. I finally feel free. Safe. But I miss it deep down already, and, one more time, I prepare to immerse myself again in the big blue.

* * *

NB: It was not until very recently that I took my first training for freediving.I felt a little spoiled with scuba, and seeing always the same fishes and corals.

It came to my mind that freediving would be a good challenge, mental and physical, as well as a balanced mixed between diving and meditating. I was right, but not even close to imagine how it challenging it would be.

After training in two different places for a few days each time though, I finally managed to enjoy my dives. I released myself from the pressure of depth challenge, the pressure of breathhold challenge, and I manage to dive, and simply enjoy being there. This is new and I realize there's still a lot of work to do.

I am now conscious at least that I should not listen too much to my brain, but rather to my body. Brain will always opt for the least effort, while the body will normally tell you the truth. I know this, and still, I find it hard to hold my breath for longer than 3 minutes, and I find it hard to go deeper than 25 meters. But it always feels amazing.

I dream watching deep divers, amazing freedive photography, and I think, maybe one day...


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